Lie to Me (3/4)
Jun. 23rd, 2015 07:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
london9callingPart [1] [2]
Luhan’s family lawyer had called. The contract had been faxed over that morning, his parents were done reviewing it.
“You know how your parents feel, so I will not reiterate their stance on the matter. From a legal standpoint it appears to be sound, if not exactly favorable economically.”
“What do you mean economically?” Luhan asked, trying to keep his voice down. He was in the dorm bathroom, trying to hide the fact he was the only one of the guys on the phone with his family lawyer discussing the contract. The other guys had asked their parents to review it, Junmyeon had mentioned a lawyer, but no one had an expensive attorney who exclusively worked for their family calling in their opinion on the matter.
“Income distribution is skewed in the favor of the company, but that is not out of the ordinary for this sort of contract. Tiered income distribution is included, guaranteeing a higher payout with increased sales. It lends the contract financial clout, given the company’s investment in your training. The scheduling of activities is also fairly one sided, in that you have little grounds to modify or deny scheduled activities without a monetary penalty.”
“But it is okay overall? I mean, I will get paid?”
“Yes, you will get paid. Maybe not much at first but there will be something. The fee to break the contract is not exorbitantly expensive either, your parents approved the funds to be set aside in case you change your mind.”
Luhan hated that his parents were already planning a way for him to leave, but wasn’t exactly surprised by it. His parents were like that.
“Thank you for reviewing it.” Luhan ended his call quickly, opening the bathroom door to go back to bed. He jumped back in surprise when he saw Kris standing there, staring at him with a knowing look.
“Are you going to sign?” Kris asked, clearly having overheard the conversation.
“Probably. Are you?” Luhan asked.
“Yeah. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Luhan wanted to say the same, except there was one unanswered question – what team would Minseok be on?
***
It was unnerving, the way Minseok kept quiet when he got home. They were instructed not to discuss the terms of their contracts with the rest of the team, least they face dismissal. It was confidential, who signed and who did not.
As the boys filtered back home one by one no one said a word, an eerie silence hung over the dorm. Once all of the paperwork was signed, or not, the final team would be announced – or at least that is what the manager had told them. They would have to wait until that night to find out who was in and who was out.
Luhan took it as a positive sign that Minseok wasn’t currently reorganizing his closet or complaining about the mess in the living room. Instead he was lying down on his bed, playing on his phone. Luhan slipped into the bed next to him, pulling Minseok to his side.
Luhan wasn’t sure what to say, since they couldn’t talk about the most important thing in their lives right now. He just felt comfort in being near Minseok, being near the man who had made him in one way or another feel better about himself.
“China.” Minseok said quietly, so quietly that Luhan wasn’t sure he heard him correctly.
Then it sunk in. Luhan looked at Minseok in surprise, searching his face for a hint of deception. He found none.
“Really?” Luhan gasped, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Minseok nodded, “Is that okay?”
Luhan wanted to kiss him, wanted to kiss him more than he had ever wanted to kiss him before in his life. And that was a statement that meant something, because Luhan couldn’t count on his fingers and toes how many times that gummy and crooked smile had made him want to kiss Minseok.
“I love you Minseok.” Luhan smiled, hiding his head against Minseok’s hair, trying to hide his joy.
“I love you too.” Minseok answered, laughing.
Luhan didn’t want to hear him add “as a friend”, it was a good thing Minseok didn’t manage to clarify the fact. Luhan just wanted to hear those four words, feel Minseok in his arms, and think that everything was going to be okay. He was going to China…with Minseok.
***
“Jesus Fucking Christ!” Kris’s scream could wake the dead - or nine sleeping young men.
“What is it?! What is wrong?” Junmyeon rushed out into the hallway, half asleep. The others were quick to join in, wondering what had Kris screaming so early in the morning, everyone expecting a fire or some catastrophe to be waiting for them.
Luhan rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out what was happening.
“I – we” Tao stuttered, clearly flustered.
Tao was standing in the living room, Sehun peeking out from behind him, both of their faces flushed. They were both in their pajamas, or at least part of their pajamas. Sehun was currently pulling his pajama shirt down to hide his underwear while Tao was shirtless.
“They were making out!” Kris pointed at Sehun and Tao “Like kissing and groping and- holy crap they were about to get it on!”
Junmyeon pushed his way through the other boys until he was standing between Kris and the two extremely embarrassed maknaes. “Please, go back to your rooms. Nothing to see here.”
“What do you mean nothing to see?!” Kris was still shouting, clearly taken aback by what he had walked in on.
“I like guys, Hyungs. I…sorry.” Sehun was close to tears, hiding his head behind Tao.
“Guys? I thought you only liked me?” Tao whirled around, in the process revealing Sehun’s half-dressed state. Sehun pushed Tao back, using him as a shield against his state of undress.
“Just go back to your rooms for now! Let them get dressed for crying out loud!” Junmyeon looked like he was close to a nervous breakdown as he shooed the rest of them back into their respective bedrooms.
“Did you guys see that?” Kris wouldn’t shut up as they entered their room, rambling on about how Tao had been on top of Sehun and god-only-knows-what-would-have-happened.
“Are you homophobic or something?” Luhan decided to just throw it out there given Kris’s reaction.
“No! But I am seeing-my-teammates-having-sex-in-the-li
“I think it is cute.” Minseok answered unexpectedly “I kind of figured as much.”
“Cute?” Luhan liked Minseok’s reaction. Cute was much better than disgusting or wrong or any of the other dozens of adjectives Minseok could have used to describe the situation.
“Yeah. Sehun-ah seems to really like Tao. I think they are cute together.” Minseok started making his bed. Luhan knew that once he was awake he could never fall back asleep easily.
“Well, you guys are practically dry humping every night so of course you think it is cute. I can deal with you two since you keep your clothes on, but that- that was – I did not need to know what Sehun looks like without pants on.” Kris pulled out his phone and put his earbuds in “If you guys need me I will be washing my mind clean with some hardcore f-life music”
“Dry..humping?” Minseok was blushing. “We don’t dry hump.”
“Of course not! Kris!” Luhan leaned forward and slapped him on the arm “We do not dry hump!”
“Sure whatever you say.” Kris wasn’t interested in their denials.
“Baozi, he was just joking. Say you were joking Kris!” Luhan slapped his arm again.
“Fine, I was joking. Now leave me alone, I am traumatized right now.”
“See, it was a joke.” Luhan smiled, tried to pretend like it was totally cool Kris called them out on their bedtime snuggles. Minseok, on the other hand, seemed ready to die of embarrassment. When Junmyeon gave everyone the all clear to assemble in the living room Luhan was happy for the distraction.
“So where are the lovebirds?” Chanyeol looked around the living room. He was still getting over the revelation that Sehun was gay, he wanted to ask Sehun some questions and was disappointed he was nowhere to be found.
“They are in my room. Now I want you guys to keep an open mind about this, okay. I also want you to come right out and say what you are thinking. We can’t have any secrets between us, okay.” Junmyeon looked around the room.
“I wish I was getting some.” Baekhyun lamented.
“Okay…that is… a start. Anyone else want to speak?” Junmyeon clasped his hands expectantly. Luhan always thought he looked like a dorky motivational speaker when he did that.
“I can’t believe little Hun-ah likes dudes.” Chanyeol shook his head in disbelief “Not that there is anything wrong with that but holy shit.”
“I think it is cute.” Luhan borrowed Minseok’s words.
“He stole that from me.” Minseok muttered.
“Cute, surprised. Okay, anyone else?”
“Gross that they were doing it in the living room.” Kris added, only taking his earbuds out for a second.
“We should be happy for them.” Jongdae smiled “It is nice they have each other.”
“Except in a few months one of them will be in China and one in Korea.” Kyungsoo reminded the room.
“Way to rain on the parade.” Chanyeol liked Kyungsoo, he really did, but sometimes the man could be such a downer.
“I think it isn’t our place to judge.” Yixing said quietly.
“I agree. We should support them.” Jongin answered firmly.
“Yes, we should. Thank you, all of you - for being so open minded.” Junmyeon spoke like he was standing up for his own self interests. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he had taken the younger members under his wing, acting like an older brother to the both of them.
“Now that we have that under our belts – I mean, out of the way, who wants to let me sleep in their room?” Junmyeon tried to ask cutely, earning a cringe out of Jongin.
“You mean you are going to give them your room as some kind of love nest?” Chanyeol couldn’t seem to close his mouth he was so dumbfounded. Junmyeon and Sehun shared a room, which meant with Junmyeon gone that left the room to Sehun and his boy toy.
“Just for this morning, I think they need some time alone.”
“Kris said you can sleep next to him.” Luhan volunteered, chuckling at Kris, who was clueless about what was being said having gone back to blaring his music.
“That is great. Thanks Kris. Meeting adjourned, get some sleep.”
“I can’t sleep anymore. Do you want to get some coffee?” Minseok asked Luhan, confirming what Luhan already knew.
“Sure. Luhan smirked, proud of his interference. “Then at least Junmyeon will have a place to sleep when Kris kicks him off his bed. It is the least I could do”
“Indeed.” Minseok laughed, flashing his gummy smile. Luhan wanted to scream, instead he looked away.
***
“Nice morning not to sleep” Luhan watched as Minseok gazed appreciatively around him. They had taken their coffee to go, making their way to the park by the dorms. With their late nights they didn’t get out in the morning sun very often.
“Yeah, I guess if you have only three hours of sleep you couldn’t ask for a better morning.” Luhan teased, sipping his cappuccino.
They walked to the familiar white bench, their favorite place in the park. It sat by the small pond and next to a mature shade tree. From where they sat there was a good view of the running trail snaking by the pond, men and women casually jogging by every few minutes. It was a peaceful place in the middle of the city, it felt secluded.
“I think they will do well together.” Minseok nodded his head, as if he was agreeing with his own statement.
“If Tao doesn’t wushu Sehun for whining too much.” Luhan laughed.
“Whining? I think they do about the same amount of that.” Minseok looked serious as if he was considering the dozens of times Sehun and Tao had acted like three year olds in the past. “They are probably going to kill each other, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, Probably.” Luhan was pretty sure their relationship would be far from boring.
They fell into an easy silence, soaking up the morning sun, each in lost in their own thoughts.
“What is it…three weeks?” Luhan tried to count the days, breaking the silence.
“Something like that.” The manager had informed them yesterday that their debut song would be handed down after their next monthly evaluation.
“And then we become superstars, Baozi.” Luhan slapped Minseok on the back playfully.
“I guess so.” Minseok grinned his crooked, gummy smile.
“I really lik-“
“Minseok? Is that you?”
Luhan turned around at the same time as Minseok, both reacting to the shrill voice from behind them. Luhan was surprised to see a woman standing a few feet away, a metal cart full of newspapers behind her. She looked homeless, her clothes were dirty and mismatched, her hair tied up in a ratty bun.
When Minseok didn’t respond, Luhan looked at him. He was suddenly pale, frozen.
“Who are you?” Luhan challenged, wondering how the crazy lady knew Minseok’s name. It wasn’t unusual to see a homeless person in the park now and then, a byproduct of the large city they resided in.
“I am Minseok’s Mother.” The woman smiled proudly “The one that he is supposed to be sending all his newfound riches to.”
“M..o…ther?” Luhan turned to Minseok. He didn’t deny it. He didn’t move, he didn’t say yes, he didn’t say no.
“Is this one of your pretty celebrity friends?” The woman went on “You know his Father is sick and he still won’t send money. Is that the kind of friend you want to have?”
It erupted in his chest, an anger and rage at this woman. “Baozi, let’s get out of here.”
“You want to ignore where you came from boy? Now that you live the fancy life?” The woman laughed, “You think it won’t catch up with you? That you treated your family like this while you lived the high life?”
Luhan wasn’t going to stand by and hear any more of what she had to say. Not when Minseok looked ready to pass out. He grabbed Minseok’s hand, yanking him to his feet he started walking towards the jogging path, away from the crazy lady. He didn’t stop until Minseok made him, refusing to be dragged any further.
“Are you okay?” Luhan looked behind them, making sure the woman wasn’t following.
“I – I –“Minseok seemed to be hyperventilating, sucking air in quickly he could barely speak.
Luhan pulled Minseok to his chest, wrapping his arms around the smaller man he held him closely, whispering “I don’t care who she is or what she wants, Baozi. Calm down, it will be okay. I’m here, shhhh.”
They stood like that for almost ten minutes, Luhan watching as the woman dragged her cart in the opposite direction, shaking a fist in their direction as she departed. Luhan was thankful she didn’t follow them.
Minseok had his head buried in Luhan’s shoulder, his breathing slowly relaxing as Luhan soothed him with words of affection and encouragement “Baozi, you are going to be great…You are great… Just ignore it…I’m here okay. You don’t need to worry…You don’t need to worry…I love you Baozi…”
***
“I wanted to slap her.” Luhan narrowed his eyes, staring at the ceiling as if he could shoot a laser beam through it, straight at the crazy lady who interrupted Minseok and him this morning.
“You probably should not slap your crushes Mom.” Yixing was lying on his bed, a blanket tightly wrapped around him. He had been sleeping peacefully until Luhan had burst in, ready to wake him up for the second time that day.
Luhan looked at Yixing, scowling “I wouldn’t have really slapped her. I just wanted to.”
“Good, our little prince has some sense after all.” Yixing teased. His eyes were drooping, he really wanted to catch another hour of sleep before they would be ushered off to the practice room.
“I have a lot of sense! In my high school year book it was written-“
“Ge, don’t lie to me.” Yixing yawned. Luhan shut up, his thoughts turning inward as he replayed the events of a few hours ago.
The thought of that woman made his blood boil. How dare she talk to Minseok like that? How dare she upset Minseok, strong and honest and handsome Minseok? Luhan had soothed him, hugged him tightly until he had broken away. They remained silent on the walk back to the dorms, Minseok not wanting to talk about what had happened and Luhan not wanting to press him for any details.
“You should have seen Minseok. He was so upset.”
“I can imagine he would be.” Yixing said quietly.
“He probably had a really hard time growing up.” Luhan balled his fists at the thought “Yixing, how could he have such a hard life?”
“Life isn’t fair.” Yixing sighed “But it is a shame. Minseok hyung is a really great guy.” Yixing appreciated Minseok. He was a kind man. While the other trainees made fun of his accent, picked out his flaws, Minseok encouraged him.
Luhan thought about his friend, who was currently busy cleaning their room much to Kris’s annoyance. “He does that when he is upset.” Luhan said matter-of-factly.
Yixing didn’t have to ask what Luhan was asking about “You lie when you are upset.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about. Funny, funny guy.” Luhan got up from Yixing’s bed, deciding to let his friend get a few more minutes of sleep. He would go to his room, talk to Minseok. Or just watch Minseok. He just wanted Minseok. A desire he was fighting with every hour of the day it seemed.
***
“If you can’t learn the dance then stay later!”
Chanyeol cringed, the rest of the guys did too. Junmyeon only yelled when he had been yelled at first – it was a well-known fact among the pre-debut team. When the dance teacher, the voice instructor, the language teacher, or one of the other half dozen people that taught them different facets of being an idol was disappointed, it was Junmyeon communicating their disdain because he had heard it first.
Before the twelve of them had signed their contracts they received criticism in the middle of training. Now Junmyeon heard it first and had to communicate it downward to “assert his leadership” or some other strange term the manager threw out. It made the other guys bitter…and sorry. Because when they screwed up it was Junmyeon getting yelled at for it, told to make it better.
“Hyung, I’m sorry.” Chanyeol dropped his head.
“I know, but guys, they can cancel our contracts if they want. We can’t fall back on it, we can’t start taking it easy now.” Junmyeon closed his eyes briefly, snapping them open he continued “We have our evaluation tomorrow. If we don’t nail this I can’t guarantee they are going to give us our debut track.”
“Yah! You uncoordinated oaf! Practice all night if you need to!” Baekhyun shoved at Chanyeol’s arm. Luhan wondered how much of what Baekhyun said was sarcastic and how much of it was dead serious.
“Hyung, let’s try it again.” Jongin took Chanyeol’s arm, guiding him towards the other half of the practice room, “Junmyeon hyung, I will stay with him until he has it.”
“Good. Look, I am sorry to be so hard on you guys but you have to realize that our hard work isn’t over. It is just beginning.” Junmyeon looked a bit wistful “I worked so hard for this and I am going to work harder. I hope you all think the same.”
Mumbled words of agreement were heard as the group dispersed. It had been a terrible practice, everyone was uncoordinated – all arms and legs out of sync. Chanyeol hadn’t been the only one who had made mistakes, he had just made the most.
“What is wrong with us today?” Minseok wiped the seat from his forehead, leaning against the wall he slide down until he was seated on the floor.
“Nerves probably.” Luhan looked around the room, everyone else was sitting down with the exception of Chanyeol and Jongin “Exhaustion.”
“How are we going to deal with having busy schedules if we can’t do this?” Minseok shook his head “Junmyeon is right, it isn’t going to get any easier.”
Luhan considered it, but it wasn’t like they were all unaware of what was ahead of them. Sleepless nights, days packed full of scheduled event after scheduled event. Once, a few months back, Kyuhyun had paid a visit to the practice rooms. He was already debuted, a member of the group Super Junior. He knew Junmyeon and Jongin from his trainee days. He was in the area and decided to drop by to see how the pre-debut team was progressing.
Luhan had nearly fainted. It was his first time seeing a celebrity up close. The already debuted idols of SM Entertainment didn’t often pay a visit to the practice building. There was a separate building that housed the corporate offices as well as the practice rooms for the stars. The building that the trainees congregated in was in a different neighborhood, they only went to the headquarters for their monthly evaluations. Even then they only visited a portion of the headquarters building, a section that idols didn’t often wander into.
“I have slept two hours in three days.” Kyuhyun had laughed “But I have tomorrow off, so I will sleep for at least four.” Luhan had guessed then and there sleep was most certainly, aside from the rumors, something that an idol didn’t see very often.
“Who needs sleep when there is coffee?” Luhan tried to lighten the mood “Baozi, let’s just work hard.”
“I will. I am not worried about me, I am worried about them.” Minseok gestured towards the other guys “Sehun and Tao are still so young. Jongdae and Baekhyun haven’t even lived this life for very long.”
“What do you think our chances are? To debut?” Luhan was curious. He was optimistic, he wanted to know how Minseok thought about it.
“Fifty percent.” Minseok answered firmly “Luhan, I have seen teams broken up too many times to think otherwise.”
“Even with a contract!” Luhan was surprised.
“Yeah, even with a contract. Contracts aren’t as hard and fast as you think, especially in this world, especially for the company.” Minseok stood up, “Now let’s get back to practicing. You looked like crap when you did the last move.”
Luhan began protesting he was fine and perfect in his movements, but he kept Minseok’s words tucked in the back of his mind. Were they really on that shaky of ground?
***
One new message. It was Thursday, time for another one of his parent’s emotionally distant emails, sent on their behalf by their secretary. He was half done typing his response when he noticed the email length was different. Scanning up to the top of the message he began to read. There was the usual greeting, the usual questions, and then something else.
If you would like us to contact the company to nullify the contract please let us know. Your Father has expressed interest in having you back in Beijing with an added incentive of a thirty three percent share in the business. Please respond, we would like to know your intentions on the matter.
Luhan snorted. He shouldn’t have been that surprised, not when they couldn’t even bother to remember his birthday most years. What they had sent him was a business contract, it wasn’t an email sent by parents who missed their child.
“What’s so funny?” Minseok was sprawled out on the bottom bunk, flipping through a sports magazine. Luhan was seated at the small desk in their room, checking soccer scores and emails.
“Baozi, do you want to go get some coffee?” Luhan needed to get out of there, the email souring his mood.
“We can’t. Remember.” Minseok knew Luhan remembered, there was no way he could have forgotten so quickly “Manager’s orders.”
“Right, manager’s orders.” Luhan thought back to the small gathering of girls that had greeted them at their dorms.
Four days ago was the first time that had ever happened, a full two months after their debut song had been handed down to them. It wasn’t an entirely foreign site, a few stray fans were seen outside the trainee building every now and then – some of them even bringing Yixing a cake on his birthday. Still they had never seen fans waiting outside their home; they were genuinely surprised the girls even knew the location of their dorms.
On the fourth day they came home and found the girls waiting outside yet again. They recognized half of the group from the same gathering of fans that had been waiting around the practice building earlier in the day. It was the final straw. The manager had been on the phone from the time that they shut the dorm door until he announced with a stern face “You guys aren’t allowed to leave the dorm without company permission AKA a manager. Congratulations, I think you guys just got yourselves some stalker fans.”
They had questioned how, before their names had even been disclosed to the public, the girls had decided to follow them. “They know who is on the pre-debut team and they know the company is debuting a group in the next year. They want a piece of you guys before anyone else even knows you exist. Consider your private lives gone.” The manager had looked a bit amused, which pissed Kris off.
“You mean we can’t leave because of some middle schoolers? You have to be joking?” Kris liked his shopping trips with Tao, his basketball games with Yixing, and his trips to the gym with Junmyeon.
“Pretty much. Middle schoolers take picture and post them online, where non-middle schoolers find them and ruin your image. But never fear because that means you are gaining a live in manager. Hey roomies.” The manager smiled, waving.
Luhan groaned at the memory. He was already feeling cooped up and it was only the first night they had been told to stay home. “Baozi, I’mmmmm booooored.”
Minseok rolled his eyes at Luhan, dropping his magazine and belting out “MAMA”
Luhan started singing their debut song, knowing that was Minseok’s answer to his boredom. Practice.
“You are so off key.” Minseok put his fingers in his ears, cringing as if Luhan was the worst thing he had ever heard. That was it, Luhan spurred himself into action. He launched at Minseok, who jumped back in surprise, trying to escape Luhan’s attack.
Luhan was on Minseok in a minute, beginning his tickling assault, one of his new favorite pastimes. He liked how it made Minseok laugh with abandon, he liked how it made Minseok’s pale face turn a certain shade of pink because he was annoyed. He liked how Minseok tried to fight back but always ended up shoving Luhan off him affectionately.
Minseok pushed back, laughing. Luhan grabbed the older boy’s arms, wrestling them above his head to stop his counter attack. The effect was Minseok pinned down, Luhan laying on top of him. The effect was Luhan feeling like his sanity had just been completely stripped from his being.
Minseok was still smiling, but he wasn’t laughing. His brown eyes, such pretty eyes Luhan thought, were twinkling mischievously. But his smile was dangerously relaxed, his brown hair dangerously messy, his breathing heavy. Luhan stared into his eyes, soaking in the feeling of having Minseok under him.
“Baozi….” Luhan breathed out, his mind a jumbled mess.
Minseok rectified Luhan’s confusion, pushing Luhan off of him quickly, “You weakling.” He laughed as Luhan stared at him with surprise, finding himself suddenly lying on the bed on his back. “I’m hungry, let’s go make ramyun.”
Luhan watched Minseok walk out of the room, still trying to regain his breathe. Luhan thought it was a cruel reality that Minseok would never, could never feel like he did. But for now just being near him was enough, he didn’t need his love, Luhan told himself. He could deal with it, as long as Minseok was there. As long as they were together.
***
“Turn a little towards the right. No! No! You-” The photographer pointed at Sehun “Stand there! RIGHT THERE!”
The boys were flustered. It was their first photo shoot, conducted only a few hours after they had their hair chopped, dyed, and generally manhandled with hair product that could survive an F5 tornado.
Minseok found that he was more nervous in front of a camera than he had ever thought possible. He wondered how the others were doing it. Jongin, Luhan, Chanyeol, Tao, Kris, and Sehun were naturals in front of a lens.
“Hyung, I am scared.” Kyungsoo was fidgeting, biting his nails as he watched the photographer order around Sehun and Luhan.
“I am too.” Minseok agreed. He was not comfortable with having a camera focused on him, snapping picture after picture as directions were shouted at him.
“Luhan hyung is good at it. So is Jongin.” Kyungsoo noted glumly.
Minseok appreciated the way Luhan posed. He was a handsome man – no, a beautiful man as long as he wasn’t laughing. When he laughed his face contorted ever so. Minseok chuckled to himself at the thought.
“Funny, huh? We should be that good.” Kyungsoo mistook the reason for Minseok’s laughter “Are you at the site tomorrow?”
“No, mine hasn’t been scheduled.” Minseok was nervous at the fact that his filming date was unannounced. Their newest manager, a kind woman named Ahreum, had informed them of the set schedules for the filming of teaser clips leading up to their debut.
“Mine either. You think they only scheduled the ones they want?” Kyungsoo bit at his nails, worried,
“I hope not.” Minseok recounted the trainees who had confirmed filming dates – Jongin, Yixing, Kris, Tao, and Sehun.
“Boys, it is your turn next.” Ahreum, gently nudged Minseok’s shoulder. Minseok nodded. It was a nice change from their manager hyungs. “And stop worrying.” She added, “It makes your pictures come out bad.”
***
“You would be a really badass action star.”
“Shut up Luhan.” Minseok smacked the Chinese boy on the head “I wasn’t at the Gayo Daejuns before I even debuted. Or, how about your five million teasers Luhan? Or should I call you Luh-chael Jackson.”
“Call Jongin – No, I mean Kai “Luhan laughed at the stage name. It still sounded so odd “That. He is the one that has a million teasers. Or Yixing, he performed with Shinee even before we debuted!”
“But they aren’t one half of the hottest couple in Kpop.” Minseok teased, clicking on a new tab, closing out the video. Luhan was looking over – no, practically hanging on – Minseok’s shoulder as he played his teaser clip on his laptop. They were in their room, Kris fast asleep, the two of them watching the clips that had been released so far.
“Yah! Baozi!” Luhan tried to look annoyed, but he was smiling. Being linked to Sehun had its benefits. For one they were being touted as the first real “ship” of Exo- the first pairing to drive the fan girls crazy. Also, it was the perfectly hilarious scenario that had Luhan smiling – amused. Sehun and Tao were very much a couple. After their discovery in the living room they had been open about their relationship, to the point they proudly showed off their promise rings to the team. A perceived “relationship” with Luhan was the perfect cover for Sehun and Tao’s very real relationship.
“What are they calling you guys?” Minseok clicked on the search bar, ready to pull up the slew of embarrassing comments on the teaser featuring Sehun and Luhan.
“Stop.” Luhan grabbed Minseok’s hand playfully, trying to divert his search “Are you jealous or something?”
Minseok tugged his hand away, “No, just embarrassed to be your friend.”
“Yah!” Luhan shut the laptop “No more videos, It is bedtime!”
Minseok found angry Luhan adorable. He also found himself very jealous, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Luhan.
***
“Who would have thought superpowers, magic trees, and shiny clothes would be in my future.” Minseok sighed heavily before breaking into a smile “Seriously though, this is going to be badass.”
“You are nervous…” Luhan whispered, grasping Minseok’s arm. They were backstage, waiting for their queues to go on stage. It was their debut showcase in Seoul, the first time they would appear formally as the group Exo. Minseok still laughed at the name and their concept, but he was more than happy to go along with it. This was his dream after all, everything he had been working for. If he had to pretend he could control frost to debut it wouldn’t be a problem.
“I am more nervous for tomorrow.” Minseok thought about debuting in China, where he would be promoting alongside Exo-M. They were the Mandarin speaking subgroup, one half of Exo. They would live and promote in China as Exo-K lived and promoted in Korea.
Minseok had been trying to diligently study Mandarin since he had learned of his final destination. The only problem was finding time to study after practice. He had a set language class every Wednesday for two hours, he had been attending it for the last two years. Bilingualism was a trait pushed by SM Entertainment because it had marketable results.
The problem, Minseok found, was his ability to retain his lessons. Jongdae, who had been placed in Exo-M alongside him, picked up Mandarin far more quickly than Minseok. He seemed to understand everything after being told once, a fact that frustrated Minseok. Even conversing in Mandarin with Tao and Luhan – for practice – was usually an epic failure on Minseok’s part resulting in him using the wrong tones and usually calling someone a potato by accident.
“Hey, I will be there, everything will be fine.” Luhan grinned, tried to look reassuring, boosting Minseok’s confidence with his own.
“Get ready in five.” Ahreum instructed the boys. Everyone tensed, some of them pale, some of them bursting with unbridled energy.
“Here goes nothing. Exo- let’s love!” Junmyeon – no, he was Suho now – shouted at the group “It is our time to shine.” They shouted the slogan back, their voices mingled together, each man finding their own meaning in the words. The future was now.
***
The dorms in China were larger than what they had stayed in back in Korea. They were marginally nicer as well. “For our new stars” Ahreum joked, ruffling Yixing’s hair as she shooed the boys into their new home.
That was a few weeks ago. Since then they had gone to an awards show (which was awkward in Minseok’s opinion, they were all dazed by the media and the lights and – well, everything), been interviewed multiple times, and barely slept three hours a night.
Minseok had never felt so drained in his life. They still managed to smile for the camera, to answer interview questions with SM approved answers, to make small talk. But it was getting harder. Minseok felt it and so did everyone else.
“Two days, you have two days off.” Ahreum had instructed them “If you want to go somewhere you need one of the managers with you, that rule applies. Otherwise your schedules are free.”
The first day they all slept, almost the entire day. Ahreum brought them chicken and coke, patting their heads as they devoured the food and fell back asleep. The morning dawned, and the six men woke up with a mind to take advantage of at least one of their free days.
Yixing had decided to lock himself in his room, he wanted to spend some time composing. Kris had some friends in town, begrudgingly accepting a manager escort as he went to meet up with them in a shopping mall. Tao and Jongdae had accidently discovered a mutual love of a certain anime, leaving Luhan and Minseok to watch as the two of them hunkered down for a day long marathon (which had one positive outcome and that was Tao forgetting to be lovesick over Sehun for one day).
Minseok dragged Luhan into the room he shared with Tao, bored beyond belief and needing a plan. Their room assignments had changed since they had moved to China. Now Minseok shared a room with Tao. Luhan shared a room with Yixing while Jongdae and Kris made an odd couple in the largest room in the dorm. Two male managers shared a room, while Ahreum and another female manager had the small apartment next door. It may have bothered Minseok to not be near Luhan, had neither of them actually spent more than a couple hours a day in the dorms.
“We are in your hometown, is there anywhere we should go?” Minseok practically demanded a tour, groaning as he pointed towards the living room “I can’t sit and listen to their anime talk all day.”
“Do you want to go visit my parents?” Luhan asked. His face was unreadable, confusing Minseok. Luhan had never really talked about his parents in great detail – unless he was in the middle of an obvious lie.
It was also something that had not gone unnoticed, the fact that Luhan’s parents were clearly absent at their Chinese Showcase. All of the other parents had shown up, excluding Minseok’s parents. Jongdae’s had even flown in from Korea. Tao’s parents came, Yixing’s grandparents waved happily from the audience, and Kris’s Mom made a point to be in the front row. Luhan and Minseok were the only two without family or friends at the event.
“Sure, but um, where do they live? Which manager should we ask?” Minseok also wanted to ask what he should wear, if he should buy a gift, and a dozen other odd questions but he held his tongue.
“No manager. We can just leave. “
Minseok didn’t like the sound of sneaking out. There were fans outside their dorms and a very aware entertainment company monitoring their every move. “We can’t just leave, Luhan.”
“Sure we can. Follow me.”
Minseok followed dutifully, listening as Luhan walked up to Ahreum and stated his intent to go visit his parents.
“Are they sending a car?” She asked, checking her cell phone in the process.
“They will if you call them. “ Luhan motioned towards Minseok “Baozi is coming with me.”
“I will walk you guys to the car when it arrives.” Ahreum’s ready agreement shocked Minseok. So did the black Mercedes that picked them up in the underground parking structure, Ahreum waving goodbye as the car pulled out with the two young men in the backseat.
***
Minseok didn’t know what she was saying, he could only read her body language. She was stiff, formal, and unhappy. He wished he had picked up the Mandarin language the way Jongdae did so he would have an inkling about what was being discussed.
“Do you at least understand English?” She asked, raising an eyebrow in Minseok’s direction. Luhan’s Mother was dressed impeccably, her clothing clearly designer. Her makeup looked like it had been professionally done as did her hair. Large rings and a heavy jeweled necklace topped off her outfit.
Minseok was nervous meeting Luhan’s parents, even before he knew that at least one thing Luhan had told him way back when was true – that the Lu family was loaded. Once he realized that Luhan was part of a very, very well off family, Minseok’s anxiety had skyrocketed. He felt out of place, he felt lost – despite his strong emotions he still was very aware of the change that had come over Luhan when they had arrived at his parent’s house.
Luhan had held Minseok’s hand, guiding him into the house. Luhan’s palms were sweaty, when he greeted his Mother, his naturally upbeat expression turned sour. As the woman spoke his face turned red, his words became clipped and terse.
Now Minseok knew she was judging him. “No.” He answered on purpose. He understood more English than he did Mandarin but he wasn’t going to indulge the woman. Not when Luhan had his fists balled at his sides.
Luhan said something, quickly, his voice quivering as he made the statement. Minseok could pick up a few words - ài qíng, xìngfú – he recognized the words for love and happiness. What were they talking about?
Minseok fidgeted in his seat. The entire morning had been a blur. From a black Mercedes to an opulent residence in the most exclusive area of Beijing. Servants, a house full of expensive furniture and antiques, an angry woman that resembled Luhan. The tea they served was far too bitter for his liking.
A servant entered the room, speaking to Mrs. Lu in hushed tones.
“Minseok, my Father is home.” Luhan explained in Korean, “We should go greet him.”
Luhan’s Mother was quiet, suddenly accommodating as they walked towards the foyer of the large house. Minseok had forgotten how to even reach the main entryway, the number of hallways in the house dizzying and discombobulating.
A man was standing in the foyer, a servant helping him with his coat. Minseok looked at the man wondering how much Luhan took after him. It was clear that Luhan inherited his kind eyes and his small mouth. Luhan’s Father was taller than him, broader of shoulders. Luhan had gained his mother’s delicate frame.
The man looked Minseok up and down, gave a passing glance to Luhan, and then walked on without saying a word.
“Time to go.” Luhan grabbed Minseok’s hand, not looking back. They took a cab back to the dorms, earning a scolding from Ahreum.
“Are you okay?” Minseok had asked after they had returned home.
“Yeah. Just don’t ask me about it please.” Luhan answered, never giving any indication why he thought the visit was a good idea in the first place.
Minseok had a hard time sleeping that night, the scene of Luhan’s father replaying in his mind over and over again. The cold, steely glance he had directed at his own son, the lack of acknowledgement. Somehow, someway, Minseok knew that Luhan’s lies had a lot to do with that cold and ugly stare.
***
The day had been exhausting. Or had it been two days. Maybe three. Minseok wasn’t sure. It was a flurry of schedules, hair, makeup, schedules. He had slept in the car, a bit when he was having his makeup done. But that was how long ago…ten hours…five hours? He wasn’t sure at this point.
The six of them were at the SM building in Beijing, a much smaller operation than anything in Korea. The company had rented a small office building and converted several suites into practice rooms, the rest of the rooms reserved as offices for the management and other administrative employees present in the Chinese office.
Ahreum was sitting in the practice room, knitting in a corner as the boys practiced the choreography for Mama yet again. If they weren’t at a schedule they were practicing.
There was a knock on the practice room door, Ahreum putting down the fire engine red scarf she was half done with. She opened the door, speaking quietly. The boys barely paid attention, too busy fighting off exhaustion by continuing their practice. Minseok had recognized long ago that as long as he kept moving he could stay awake.
“Luhan.” Ahreum called quietly, effectively ending their practice. Minseok watched as Luhan walked to the door.
“Keep practicing.” Ahreum instructed the other five boys. Minseok went back to dancing but kept an eye on the door that Luhan had walked out of. He was curious why Luhan had bene called out. When he didn’t return in twenty minutes Minseok began to worry. Finally a break was called in the practice.
“Where did Luhan go?” Minseok asked Ahreum, knowing she would tell him if she could.
“His Father is here.” She answered quietly, still knitting, not bothering to look up.
***
Luhan didn’t return to the practice room. It was nearing dawn when Minseok heard the dorm door click open. He hadn’t been able to sleep, despite his extreme fatigue. He stared at the ceiling as Tao slumbered in the bed across the room, his mind full of worry over what the cold and distant man that he had met back in Luhan’s parent’s house could possibly want with his son.
Creeping out of bed at the noise of the front door opening, Minseok found Luhan in the kitchen, his back turned towards the entryway as he messed around with the coffee pot.
“Hey.” Minseok wasn’t sure what to say, what to ask, so he kept it simple. Luhan turned around, his face pale. His eyes were puffy, he had been crying, that much was obvious.
“Baozi.” Luhan tried to smile, tried to look like everything was okay but Minseok wasn’t buying it.
“What happened?”
“What do you mean?” Luhan went back to fidgeting with the coffee maker, throwing out the old grounds and refilling the basket with a few scoops of Columbian blend.
“Don’t pretend nothing happened.” Minseok walked over to Luhan, not wanting to pry but not wanting to discount his distress at the same time “You have been crying.”
“Crying? Ha.” Luhan tried to brush it off “Like I could cry.”
“What did your Dad say?” Minseok crossed his arms.
“That I should quit. That I should join the family business. That I am stupid. That I am good for nothing. The usual.”
“He is wrong.” Minseok said firmly. Luhan had stopped messing with the coffee maker, leaning over the counter with his back to Minseok he looked defeated, his posture relaxed as if he had half collapsed from the exhaustion of it all.
“Is he wrong?” Luhan asked softly.
“I think so. You are better than that. Than them. Don’t listen to him.”
“What if….you know…” Luhan turned around, leaning his back on the counter as he stared at the ceiling “What if…”
“You should have more confidence.”
“I should have more confidence?” His laugh was mocking, “Why do you put up with me?”
Minseok swallowed, narrowing his eyes “What do you mean?”
“I lie to you all the time. Why don’t you care?” His voice was raw, honest.
Minseok considered Luhan’s words. Wasn’t he obsessed with the reason behind Luhan’s lies? Wasn’t that the driving force, he had told himself, to get to know Luhan better? Why did none of it matter anymore? Why did Luhan lying seem so inconsequential when it was compared to their entire relationship-“Because I know you are a good person and you have your reasons?”
“Do I?” Luhan laughed, but it was sad.
“Yeah. Why do you put up with me?” Minseok hadn’t ever said it aloud, pinpointed it himself as a flaw “When I tear everything apart as soon as I am upset?”
His words seemed to break through the sarcastic front Luhan had put up around him. He looked serious, hurt even “Because you are you.”
“Then we feel the same.” Minseok smiled weakly.
“Funny that we found each other then. Two crazy people.”
“Yeah, I guess. Hey, let’s get some sleep.” He reached forward, grabbing Luhan’s arm gently, urging him to follow “My bed or yours?”
“Baozi…”Luhan stayed put, staring at his friend.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you.”
Minseok didn’t miss the few stray tears that fell as they walked to Minseok’s room, laid on Minseok’s bed, side by side. He noticed the tears but didn’t say anything – call them out, ask what was wrong. Suddenly it didn’t matter why Luhan lied. What mattered was that Luhan was next to him, was okay, was as much his as he probably ever would be. Suddenly Minseok wasn’t chasing a mystery, he was settling for a mutual understanding that would likely lead to heartbreak.
NEXT CHAPTER >>>>
Luhan’s family lawyer had called. The contract had been faxed over that morning, his parents were done reviewing it.
“You know how your parents feel, so I will not reiterate their stance on the matter. From a legal standpoint it appears to be sound, if not exactly favorable economically.”
“What do you mean economically?” Luhan asked, trying to keep his voice down. He was in the dorm bathroom, trying to hide the fact he was the only one of the guys on the phone with his family lawyer discussing the contract. The other guys had asked their parents to review it, Junmyeon had mentioned a lawyer, but no one had an expensive attorney who exclusively worked for their family calling in their opinion on the matter.
“Income distribution is skewed in the favor of the company, but that is not out of the ordinary for this sort of contract. Tiered income distribution is included, guaranteeing a higher payout with increased sales. It lends the contract financial clout, given the company’s investment in your training. The scheduling of activities is also fairly one sided, in that you have little grounds to modify or deny scheduled activities without a monetary penalty.”
“But it is okay overall? I mean, I will get paid?”
“Yes, you will get paid. Maybe not much at first but there will be something. The fee to break the contract is not exorbitantly expensive either, your parents approved the funds to be set aside in case you change your mind.”
Luhan hated that his parents were already planning a way for him to leave, but wasn’t exactly surprised by it. His parents were like that.
“Thank you for reviewing it.” Luhan ended his call quickly, opening the bathroom door to go back to bed. He jumped back in surprise when he saw Kris standing there, staring at him with a knowing look.
“Are you going to sign?” Kris asked, clearly having overheard the conversation.
“Probably. Are you?” Luhan asked.
“Yeah. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Luhan wanted to say the same, except there was one unanswered question – what team would Minseok be on?
***
It was unnerving, the way Minseok kept quiet when he got home. They were instructed not to discuss the terms of their contracts with the rest of the team, least they face dismissal. It was confidential, who signed and who did not.
As the boys filtered back home one by one no one said a word, an eerie silence hung over the dorm. Once all of the paperwork was signed, or not, the final team would be announced – or at least that is what the manager had told them. They would have to wait until that night to find out who was in and who was out.
Luhan took it as a positive sign that Minseok wasn’t currently reorganizing his closet or complaining about the mess in the living room. Instead he was lying down on his bed, playing on his phone. Luhan slipped into the bed next to him, pulling Minseok to his side.
Luhan wasn’t sure what to say, since they couldn’t talk about the most important thing in their lives right now. He just felt comfort in being near Minseok, being near the man who had made him in one way or another feel better about himself.
“China.” Minseok said quietly, so quietly that Luhan wasn’t sure he heard him correctly.
Then it sunk in. Luhan looked at Minseok in surprise, searching his face for a hint of deception. He found none.
“Really?” Luhan gasped, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Minseok nodded, “Is that okay?”
Luhan wanted to kiss him, wanted to kiss him more than he had ever wanted to kiss him before in his life. And that was a statement that meant something, because Luhan couldn’t count on his fingers and toes how many times that gummy and crooked smile had made him want to kiss Minseok.
“I love you Minseok.” Luhan smiled, hiding his head against Minseok’s hair, trying to hide his joy.
“I love you too.” Minseok answered, laughing.
Luhan didn’t want to hear him add “as a friend”, it was a good thing Minseok didn’t manage to clarify the fact. Luhan just wanted to hear those four words, feel Minseok in his arms, and think that everything was going to be okay. He was going to China…with Minseok.
***
“Jesus Fucking Christ!” Kris’s scream could wake the dead - or nine sleeping young men.
“What is it?! What is wrong?” Junmyeon rushed out into the hallway, half asleep. The others were quick to join in, wondering what had Kris screaming so early in the morning, everyone expecting a fire or some catastrophe to be waiting for them.
Luhan rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out what was happening.
“I – we” Tao stuttered, clearly flustered.
Tao was standing in the living room, Sehun peeking out from behind him, both of their faces flushed. They were both in their pajamas, or at least part of their pajamas. Sehun was currently pulling his pajama shirt down to hide his underwear while Tao was shirtless.
“They were making out!” Kris pointed at Sehun and Tao “Like kissing and groping and- holy crap they were about to get it on!”
Junmyeon pushed his way through the other boys until he was standing between Kris and the two extremely embarrassed maknaes. “Please, go back to your rooms. Nothing to see here.”
“What do you mean nothing to see?!” Kris was still shouting, clearly taken aback by what he had walked in on.
“I like guys, Hyungs. I…sorry.” Sehun was close to tears, hiding his head behind Tao.
“Guys? I thought you only liked me?” Tao whirled around, in the process revealing Sehun’s half-dressed state. Sehun pushed Tao back, using him as a shield against his state of undress.
“Just go back to your rooms for now! Let them get dressed for crying out loud!” Junmyeon looked like he was close to a nervous breakdown as he shooed the rest of them back into their respective bedrooms.
“Did you guys see that?” Kris wouldn’t shut up as they entered their room, rambling on about how Tao had been on top of Sehun and god-only-knows-what-would-have-happened.
“Are you homophobic or something?” Luhan decided to just throw it out there given Kris’s reaction.
“No! But I am seeing-my-teammates-having-sex-in-the-li
“I think it is cute.” Minseok answered unexpectedly “I kind of figured as much.”
“Cute?” Luhan liked Minseok’s reaction. Cute was much better than disgusting or wrong or any of the other dozens of adjectives Minseok could have used to describe the situation.
“Yeah. Sehun-ah seems to really like Tao. I think they are cute together.” Minseok started making his bed. Luhan knew that once he was awake he could never fall back asleep easily.
“Well, you guys are practically dry humping every night so of course you think it is cute. I can deal with you two since you keep your clothes on, but that- that was – I did not need to know what Sehun looks like without pants on.” Kris pulled out his phone and put his earbuds in “If you guys need me I will be washing my mind clean with some hardcore f-life music”
“Dry..humping?” Minseok was blushing. “We don’t dry hump.”
“Of course not! Kris!” Luhan leaned forward and slapped him on the arm “We do not dry hump!”
“Sure whatever you say.” Kris wasn’t interested in their denials.
“Baozi, he was just joking. Say you were joking Kris!” Luhan slapped his arm again.
“Fine, I was joking. Now leave me alone, I am traumatized right now.”
“See, it was a joke.” Luhan smiled, tried to pretend like it was totally cool Kris called them out on their bedtime snuggles. Minseok, on the other hand, seemed ready to die of embarrassment. When Junmyeon gave everyone the all clear to assemble in the living room Luhan was happy for the distraction.
“So where are the lovebirds?” Chanyeol looked around the living room. He was still getting over the revelation that Sehun was gay, he wanted to ask Sehun some questions and was disappointed he was nowhere to be found.
“They are in my room. Now I want you guys to keep an open mind about this, okay. I also want you to come right out and say what you are thinking. We can’t have any secrets between us, okay.” Junmyeon looked around the room.
“I wish I was getting some.” Baekhyun lamented.
“Okay…that is… a start. Anyone else want to speak?” Junmyeon clasped his hands expectantly. Luhan always thought he looked like a dorky motivational speaker when he did that.
“I can’t believe little Hun-ah likes dudes.” Chanyeol shook his head in disbelief “Not that there is anything wrong with that but holy shit.”
“I think it is cute.” Luhan borrowed Minseok’s words.
“He stole that from me.” Minseok muttered.
“Cute, surprised. Okay, anyone else?”
“Gross that they were doing it in the living room.” Kris added, only taking his earbuds out for a second.
“We should be happy for them.” Jongdae smiled “It is nice they have each other.”
“Except in a few months one of them will be in China and one in Korea.” Kyungsoo reminded the room.
“Way to rain on the parade.” Chanyeol liked Kyungsoo, he really did, but sometimes the man could be such a downer.
“I think it isn’t our place to judge.” Yixing said quietly.
“I agree. We should support them.” Jongin answered firmly.
“Yes, we should. Thank you, all of you - for being so open minded.” Junmyeon spoke like he was standing up for his own self interests. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he had taken the younger members under his wing, acting like an older brother to the both of them.
“Now that we have that under our belts – I mean, out of the way, who wants to let me sleep in their room?” Junmyeon tried to ask cutely, earning a cringe out of Jongin.
“You mean you are going to give them your room as some kind of love nest?” Chanyeol couldn’t seem to close his mouth he was so dumbfounded. Junmyeon and Sehun shared a room, which meant with Junmyeon gone that left the room to Sehun and his boy toy.
“Just for this morning, I think they need some time alone.”
“Kris said you can sleep next to him.” Luhan volunteered, chuckling at Kris, who was clueless about what was being said having gone back to blaring his music.
“That is great. Thanks Kris. Meeting adjourned, get some sleep.”
“I can’t sleep anymore. Do you want to get some coffee?” Minseok asked Luhan, confirming what Luhan already knew.
“Sure. Luhan smirked, proud of his interference. “Then at least Junmyeon will have a place to sleep when Kris kicks him off his bed. It is the least I could do”
“Indeed.” Minseok laughed, flashing his gummy smile. Luhan wanted to scream, instead he looked away.
***
“Nice morning not to sleep” Luhan watched as Minseok gazed appreciatively around him. They had taken their coffee to go, making their way to the park by the dorms. With their late nights they didn’t get out in the morning sun very often.
“Yeah, I guess if you have only three hours of sleep you couldn’t ask for a better morning.” Luhan teased, sipping his cappuccino.
They walked to the familiar white bench, their favorite place in the park. It sat by the small pond and next to a mature shade tree. From where they sat there was a good view of the running trail snaking by the pond, men and women casually jogging by every few minutes. It was a peaceful place in the middle of the city, it felt secluded.
“I think they will do well together.” Minseok nodded his head, as if he was agreeing with his own statement.
“If Tao doesn’t wushu Sehun for whining too much.” Luhan laughed.
“Whining? I think they do about the same amount of that.” Minseok looked serious as if he was considering the dozens of times Sehun and Tao had acted like three year olds in the past. “They are probably going to kill each other, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, Probably.” Luhan was pretty sure their relationship would be far from boring.
They fell into an easy silence, soaking up the morning sun, each in lost in their own thoughts.
“What is it…three weeks?” Luhan tried to count the days, breaking the silence.
“Something like that.” The manager had informed them yesterday that their debut song would be handed down after their next monthly evaluation.
“And then we become superstars, Baozi.” Luhan slapped Minseok on the back playfully.
“I guess so.” Minseok grinned his crooked, gummy smile.
“I really lik-“
“Minseok? Is that you?”
Luhan turned around at the same time as Minseok, both reacting to the shrill voice from behind them. Luhan was surprised to see a woman standing a few feet away, a metal cart full of newspapers behind her. She looked homeless, her clothes were dirty and mismatched, her hair tied up in a ratty bun.
When Minseok didn’t respond, Luhan looked at him. He was suddenly pale, frozen.
“Who are you?” Luhan challenged, wondering how the crazy lady knew Minseok’s name. It wasn’t unusual to see a homeless person in the park now and then, a byproduct of the large city they resided in.
“I am Minseok’s Mother.” The woman smiled proudly “The one that he is supposed to be sending all his newfound riches to.”
“M..o…ther?” Luhan turned to Minseok. He didn’t deny it. He didn’t move, he didn’t say yes, he didn’t say no.
“Is this one of your pretty celebrity friends?” The woman went on “You know his Father is sick and he still won’t send money. Is that the kind of friend you want to have?”
It erupted in his chest, an anger and rage at this woman. “Baozi, let’s get out of here.”
“You want to ignore where you came from boy? Now that you live the fancy life?” The woman laughed, “You think it won’t catch up with you? That you treated your family like this while you lived the high life?”
Luhan wasn’t going to stand by and hear any more of what she had to say. Not when Minseok looked ready to pass out. He grabbed Minseok’s hand, yanking him to his feet he started walking towards the jogging path, away from the crazy lady. He didn’t stop until Minseok made him, refusing to be dragged any further.
“Are you okay?” Luhan looked behind them, making sure the woman wasn’t following.
“I – I –“Minseok seemed to be hyperventilating, sucking air in quickly he could barely speak.
Luhan pulled Minseok to his chest, wrapping his arms around the smaller man he held him closely, whispering “I don’t care who she is or what she wants, Baozi. Calm down, it will be okay. I’m here, shhhh.”
They stood like that for almost ten minutes, Luhan watching as the woman dragged her cart in the opposite direction, shaking a fist in their direction as she departed. Luhan was thankful she didn’t follow them.
Minseok had his head buried in Luhan’s shoulder, his breathing slowly relaxing as Luhan soothed him with words of affection and encouragement “Baozi, you are going to be great…You are great… Just ignore it…I’m here okay. You don’t need to worry…You don’t need to worry…I love you Baozi…”
***
“I wanted to slap her.” Luhan narrowed his eyes, staring at the ceiling as if he could shoot a laser beam through it, straight at the crazy lady who interrupted Minseok and him this morning.
“You probably should not slap your crushes Mom.” Yixing was lying on his bed, a blanket tightly wrapped around him. He had been sleeping peacefully until Luhan had burst in, ready to wake him up for the second time that day.
Luhan looked at Yixing, scowling “I wouldn’t have really slapped her. I just wanted to.”
“Good, our little prince has some sense after all.” Yixing teased. His eyes were drooping, he really wanted to catch another hour of sleep before they would be ushered off to the practice room.
“I have a lot of sense! In my high school year book it was written-“
“Ge, don’t lie to me.” Yixing yawned. Luhan shut up, his thoughts turning inward as he replayed the events of a few hours ago.
The thought of that woman made his blood boil. How dare she talk to Minseok like that? How dare she upset Minseok, strong and honest and handsome Minseok? Luhan had soothed him, hugged him tightly until he had broken away. They remained silent on the walk back to the dorms, Minseok not wanting to talk about what had happened and Luhan not wanting to press him for any details.
“You should have seen Minseok. He was so upset.”
“I can imagine he would be.” Yixing said quietly.
“He probably had a really hard time growing up.” Luhan balled his fists at the thought “Yixing, how could he have such a hard life?”
“Life isn’t fair.” Yixing sighed “But it is a shame. Minseok hyung is a really great guy.” Yixing appreciated Minseok. He was a kind man. While the other trainees made fun of his accent, picked out his flaws, Minseok encouraged him.
Luhan thought about his friend, who was currently busy cleaning their room much to Kris’s annoyance. “He does that when he is upset.” Luhan said matter-of-factly.
Yixing didn’t have to ask what Luhan was asking about “You lie when you are upset.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about. Funny, funny guy.” Luhan got up from Yixing’s bed, deciding to let his friend get a few more minutes of sleep. He would go to his room, talk to Minseok. Or just watch Minseok. He just wanted Minseok. A desire he was fighting with every hour of the day it seemed.
***
“If you can’t learn the dance then stay later!”
Chanyeol cringed, the rest of the guys did too. Junmyeon only yelled when he had been yelled at first – it was a well-known fact among the pre-debut team. When the dance teacher, the voice instructor, the language teacher, or one of the other half dozen people that taught them different facets of being an idol was disappointed, it was Junmyeon communicating their disdain because he had heard it first.
Before the twelve of them had signed their contracts they received criticism in the middle of training. Now Junmyeon heard it first and had to communicate it downward to “assert his leadership” or some other strange term the manager threw out. It made the other guys bitter…and sorry. Because when they screwed up it was Junmyeon getting yelled at for it, told to make it better.
“Hyung, I’m sorry.” Chanyeol dropped his head.
“I know, but guys, they can cancel our contracts if they want. We can’t fall back on it, we can’t start taking it easy now.” Junmyeon closed his eyes briefly, snapping them open he continued “We have our evaluation tomorrow. If we don’t nail this I can’t guarantee they are going to give us our debut track.”
“Yah! You uncoordinated oaf! Practice all night if you need to!” Baekhyun shoved at Chanyeol’s arm. Luhan wondered how much of what Baekhyun said was sarcastic and how much of it was dead serious.
“Hyung, let’s try it again.” Jongin took Chanyeol’s arm, guiding him towards the other half of the practice room, “Junmyeon hyung, I will stay with him until he has it.”
“Good. Look, I am sorry to be so hard on you guys but you have to realize that our hard work isn’t over. It is just beginning.” Junmyeon looked a bit wistful “I worked so hard for this and I am going to work harder. I hope you all think the same.”
Mumbled words of agreement were heard as the group dispersed. It had been a terrible practice, everyone was uncoordinated – all arms and legs out of sync. Chanyeol hadn’t been the only one who had made mistakes, he had just made the most.
“What is wrong with us today?” Minseok wiped the seat from his forehead, leaning against the wall he slide down until he was seated on the floor.
“Nerves probably.” Luhan looked around the room, everyone else was sitting down with the exception of Chanyeol and Jongin “Exhaustion.”
“How are we going to deal with having busy schedules if we can’t do this?” Minseok shook his head “Junmyeon is right, it isn’t going to get any easier.”
Luhan considered it, but it wasn’t like they were all unaware of what was ahead of them. Sleepless nights, days packed full of scheduled event after scheduled event. Once, a few months back, Kyuhyun had paid a visit to the practice rooms. He was already debuted, a member of the group Super Junior. He knew Junmyeon and Jongin from his trainee days. He was in the area and decided to drop by to see how the pre-debut team was progressing.
Luhan had nearly fainted. It was his first time seeing a celebrity up close. The already debuted idols of SM Entertainment didn’t often pay a visit to the practice building. There was a separate building that housed the corporate offices as well as the practice rooms for the stars. The building that the trainees congregated in was in a different neighborhood, they only went to the headquarters for their monthly evaluations. Even then they only visited a portion of the headquarters building, a section that idols didn’t often wander into.
“I have slept two hours in three days.” Kyuhyun had laughed “But I have tomorrow off, so I will sleep for at least four.” Luhan had guessed then and there sleep was most certainly, aside from the rumors, something that an idol didn’t see very often.
“Who needs sleep when there is coffee?” Luhan tried to lighten the mood “Baozi, let’s just work hard.”
“I will. I am not worried about me, I am worried about them.” Minseok gestured towards the other guys “Sehun and Tao are still so young. Jongdae and Baekhyun haven’t even lived this life for very long.”
“What do you think our chances are? To debut?” Luhan was curious. He was optimistic, he wanted to know how Minseok thought about it.
“Fifty percent.” Minseok answered firmly “Luhan, I have seen teams broken up too many times to think otherwise.”
“Even with a contract!” Luhan was surprised.
“Yeah, even with a contract. Contracts aren’t as hard and fast as you think, especially in this world, especially for the company.” Minseok stood up, “Now let’s get back to practicing. You looked like crap when you did the last move.”
Luhan began protesting he was fine and perfect in his movements, but he kept Minseok’s words tucked in the back of his mind. Were they really on that shaky of ground?
***
One new message. It was Thursday, time for another one of his parent’s emotionally distant emails, sent on their behalf by their secretary. He was half done typing his response when he noticed the email length was different. Scanning up to the top of the message he began to read. There was the usual greeting, the usual questions, and then something else.
If you would like us to contact the company to nullify the contract please let us know. Your Father has expressed interest in having you back in Beijing with an added incentive of a thirty three percent share in the business. Please respond, we would like to know your intentions on the matter.
Luhan snorted. He shouldn’t have been that surprised, not when they couldn’t even bother to remember his birthday most years. What they had sent him was a business contract, it wasn’t an email sent by parents who missed their child.
“What’s so funny?” Minseok was sprawled out on the bottom bunk, flipping through a sports magazine. Luhan was seated at the small desk in their room, checking soccer scores and emails.
“Baozi, do you want to go get some coffee?” Luhan needed to get out of there, the email souring his mood.
“We can’t. Remember.” Minseok knew Luhan remembered, there was no way he could have forgotten so quickly “Manager’s orders.”
“Right, manager’s orders.” Luhan thought back to the small gathering of girls that had greeted them at their dorms.
Four days ago was the first time that had ever happened, a full two months after their debut song had been handed down to them. It wasn’t an entirely foreign site, a few stray fans were seen outside the trainee building every now and then – some of them even bringing Yixing a cake on his birthday. Still they had never seen fans waiting outside their home; they were genuinely surprised the girls even knew the location of their dorms.
On the fourth day they came home and found the girls waiting outside yet again. They recognized half of the group from the same gathering of fans that had been waiting around the practice building earlier in the day. It was the final straw. The manager had been on the phone from the time that they shut the dorm door until he announced with a stern face “You guys aren’t allowed to leave the dorm without company permission AKA a manager. Congratulations, I think you guys just got yourselves some stalker fans.”
They had questioned how, before their names had even been disclosed to the public, the girls had decided to follow them. “They know who is on the pre-debut team and they know the company is debuting a group in the next year. They want a piece of you guys before anyone else even knows you exist. Consider your private lives gone.” The manager had looked a bit amused, which pissed Kris off.
“You mean we can’t leave because of some middle schoolers? You have to be joking?” Kris liked his shopping trips with Tao, his basketball games with Yixing, and his trips to the gym with Junmyeon.
“Pretty much. Middle schoolers take picture and post them online, where non-middle schoolers find them and ruin your image. But never fear because that means you are gaining a live in manager. Hey roomies.” The manager smiled, waving.
Luhan groaned at the memory. He was already feeling cooped up and it was only the first night they had been told to stay home. “Baozi, I’mmmmm booooored.”
Minseok rolled his eyes at Luhan, dropping his magazine and belting out “MAMA”
Luhan started singing their debut song, knowing that was Minseok’s answer to his boredom. Practice.
“You are so off key.” Minseok put his fingers in his ears, cringing as if Luhan was the worst thing he had ever heard. That was it, Luhan spurred himself into action. He launched at Minseok, who jumped back in surprise, trying to escape Luhan’s attack.
Luhan was on Minseok in a minute, beginning his tickling assault, one of his new favorite pastimes. He liked how it made Minseok laugh with abandon, he liked how it made Minseok’s pale face turn a certain shade of pink because he was annoyed. He liked how Minseok tried to fight back but always ended up shoving Luhan off him affectionately.
Minseok pushed back, laughing. Luhan grabbed the older boy’s arms, wrestling them above his head to stop his counter attack. The effect was Minseok pinned down, Luhan laying on top of him. The effect was Luhan feeling like his sanity had just been completely stripped from his being.
Minseok was still smiling, but he wasn’t laughing. His brown eyes, such pretty eyes Luhan thought, were twinkling mischievously. But his smile was dangerously relaxed, his brown hair dangerously messy, his breathing heavy. Luhan stared into his eyes, soaking in the feeling of having Minseok under him.
“Baozi….” Luhan breathed out, his mind a jumbled mess.
Minseok rectified Luhan’s confusion, pushing Luhan off of him quickly, “You weakling.” He laughed as Luhan stared at him with surprise, finding himself suddenly lying on the bed on his back. “I’m hungry, let’s go make ramyun.”
Luhan watched Minseok walk out of the room, still trying to regain his breathe. Luhan thought it was a cruel reality that Minseok would never, could never feel like he did. But for now just being near him was enough, he didn’t need his love, Luhan told himself. He could deal with it, as long as Minseok was there. As long as they were together.
***
“Turn a little towards the right. No! No! You-” The photographer pointed at Sehun “Stand there! RIGHT THERE!”
The boys were flustered. It was their first photo shoot, conducted only a few hours after they had their hair chopped, dyed, and generally manhandled with hair product that could survive an F5 tornado.
Minseok found that he was more nervous in front of a camera than he had ever thought possible. He wondered how the others were doing it. Jongin, Luhan, Chanyeol, Tao, Kris, and Sehun were naturals in front of a lens.
“Hyung, I am scared.” Kyungsoo was fidgeting, biting his nails as he watched the photographer order around Sehun and Luhan.
“I am too.” Minseok agreed. He was not comfortable with having a camera focused on him, snapping picture after picture as directions were shouted at him.
“Luhan hyung is good at it. So is Jongin.” Kyungsoo noted glumly.
Minseok appreciated the way Luhan posed. He was a handsome man – no, a beautiful man as long as he wasn’t laughing. When he laughed his face contorted ever so. Minseok chuckled to himself at the thought.
“Funny, huh? We should be that good.” Kyungsoo mistook the reason for Minseok’s laughter “Are you at the site tomorrow?”
“No, mine hasn’t been scheduled.” Minseok was nervous at the fact that his filming date was unannounced. Their newest manager, a kind woman named Ahreum, had informed them of the set schedules for the filming of teaser clips leading up to their debut.
“Mine either. You think they only scheduled the ones they want?” Kyungsoo bit at his nails, worried,
“I hope not.” Minseok recounted the trainees who had confirmed filming dates – Jongin, Yixing, Kris, Tao, and Sehun.
“Boys, it is your turn next.” Ahreum, gently nudged Minseok’s shoulder. Minseok nodded. It was a nice change from their manager hyungs. “And stop worrying.” She added, “It makes your pictures come out bad.”
***
“You would be a really badass action star.”
“Shut up Luhan.” Minseok smacked the Chinese boy on the head “I wasn’t at the Gayo Daejuns before I even debuted. Or, how about your five million teasers Luhan? Or should I call you Luh-chael Jackson.”
“Call Jongin – No, I mean Kai “Luhan laughed at the stage name. It still sounded so odd “That. He is the one that has a million teasers. Or Yixing, he performed with Shinee even before we debuted!”
“But they aren’t one half of the hottest couple in Kpop.” Minseok teased, clicking on a new tab, closing out the video. Luhan was looking over – no, practically hanging on – Minseok’s shoulder as he played his teaser clip on his laptop. They were in their room, Kris fast asleep, the two of them watching the clips that had been released so far.
“Yah! Baozi!” Luhan tried to look annoyed, but he was smiling. Being linked to Sehun had its benefits. For one they were being touted as the first real “ship” of Exo- the first pairing to drive the fan girls crazy. Also, it was the perfectly hilarious scenario that had Luhan smiling – amused. Sehun and Tao were very much a couple. After their discovery in the living room they had been open about their relationship, to the point they proudly showed off their promise rings to the team. A perceived “relationship” with Luhan was the perfect cover for Sehun and Tao’s very real relationship.
“What are they calling you guys?” Minseok clicked on the search bar, ready to pull up the slew of embarrassing comments on the teaser featuring Sehun and Luhan.
“Stop.” Luhan grabbed Minseok’s hand playfully, trying to divert his search “Are you jealous or something?”
Minseok tugged his hand away, “No, just embarrassed to be your friend.”
“Yah!” Luhan shut the laptop “No more videos, It is bedtime!”
Minseok found angry Luhan adorable. He also found himself very jealous, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Luhan.
***
“Who would have thought superpowers, magic trees, and shiny clothes would be in my future.” Minseok sighed heavily before breaking into a smile “Seriously though, this is going to be badass.”
“You are nervous…” Luhan whispered, grasping Minseok’s arm. They were backstage, waiting for their queues to go on stage. It was their debut showcase in Seoul, the first time they would appear formally as the group Exo. Minseok still laughed at the name and their concept, but he was more than happy to go along with it. This was his dream after all, everything he had been working for. If he had to pretend he could control frost to debut it wouldn’t be a problem.
“I am more nervous for tomorrow.” Minseok thought about debuting in China, where he would be promoting alongside Exo-M. They were the Mandarin speaking subgroup, one half of Exo. They would live and promote in China as Exo-K lived and promoted in Korea.
Minseok had been trying to diligently study Mandarin since he had learned of his final destination. The only problem was finding time to study after practice. He had a set language class every Wednesday for two hours, he had been attending it for the last two years. Bilingualism was a trait pushed by SM Entertainment because it had marketable results.
The problem, Minseok found, was his ability to retain his lessons. Jongdae, who had been placed in Exo-M alongside him, picked up Mandarin far more quickly than Minseok. He seemed to understand everything after being told once, a fact that frustrated Minseok. Even conversing in Mandarin with Tao and Luhan – for practice – was usually an epic failure on Minseok’s part resulting in him using the wrong tones and usually calling someone a potato by accident.
“Hey, I will be there, everything will be fine.” Luhan grinned, tried to look reassuring, boosting Minseok’s confidence with his own.
“Get ready in five.” Ahreum instructed the boys. Everyone tensed, some of them pale, some of them bursting with unbridled energy.
“Here goes nothing. Exo- let’s love!” Junmyeon – no, he was Suho now – shouted at the group “It is our time to shine.” They shouted the slogan back, their voices mingled together, each man finding their own meaning in the words. The future was now.
***
The dorms in China were larger than what they had stayed in back in Korea. They were marginally nicer as well. “For our new stars” Ahreum joked, ruffling Yixing’s hair as she shooed the boys into their new home.
That was a few weeks ago. Since then they had gone to an awards show (which was awkward in Minseok’s opinion, they were all dazed by the media and the lights and – well, everything), been interviewed multiple times, and barely slept three hours a night.
Minseok had never felt so drained in his life. They still managed to smile for the camera, to answer interview questions with SM approved answers, to make small talk. But it was getting harder. Minseok felt it and so did everyone else.
“Two days, you have two days off.” Ahreum had instructed them “If you want to go somewhere you need one of the managers with you, that rule applies. Otherwise your schedules are free.”
The first day they all slept, almost the entire day. Ahreum brought them chicken and coke, patting their heads as they devoured the food and fell back asleep. The morning dawned, and the six men woke up with a mind to take advantage of at least one of their free days.
Yixing had decided to lock himself in his room, he wanted to spend some time composing. Kris had some friends in town, begrudgingly accepting a manager escort as he went to meet up with them in a shopping mall. Tao and Jongdae had accidently discovered a mutual love of a certain anime, leaving Luhan and Minseok to watch as the two of them hunkered down for a day long marathon (which had one positive outcome and that was Tao forgetting to be lovesick over Sehun for one day).
Minseok dragged Luhan into the room he shared with Tao, bored beyond belief and needing a plan. Their room assignments had changed since they had moved to China. Now Minseok shared a room with Tao. Luhan shared a room with Yixing while Jongdae and Kris made an odd couple in the largest room in the dorm. Two male managers shared a room, while Ahreum and another female manager had the small apartment next door. It may have bothered Minseok to not be near Luhan, had neither of them actually spent more than a couple hours a day in the dorms.
“We are in your hometown, is there anywhere we should go?” Minseok practically demanded a tour, groaning as he pointed towards the living room “I can’t sit and listen to their anime talk all day.”
“Do you want to go visit my parents?” Luhan asked. His face was unreadable, confusing Minseok. Luhan had never really talked about his parents in great detail – unless he was in the middle of an obvious lie.
It was also something that had not gone unnoticed, the fact that Luhan’s parents were clearly absent at their Chinese Showcase. All of the other parents had shown up, excluding Minseok’s parents. Jongdae’s had even flown in from Korea. Tao’s parents came, Yixing’s grandparents waved happily from the audience, and Kris’s Mom made a point to be in the front row. Luhan and Minseok were the only two without family or friends at the event.
“Sure, but um, where do they live? Which manager should we ask?” Minseok also wanted to ask what he should wear, if he should buy a gift, and a dozen other odd questions but he held his tongue.
“No manager. We can just leave. “
Minseok didn’t like the sound of sneaking out. There were fans outside their dorms and a very aware entertainment company monitoring their every move. “We can’t just leave, Luhan.”
“Sure we can. Follow me.”
Minseok followed dutifully, listening as Luhan walked up to Ahreum and stated his intent to go visit his parents.
“Are they sending a car?” She asked, checking her cell phone in the process.
“They will if you call them. “ Luhan motioned towards Minseok “Baozi is coming with me.”
“I will walk you guys to the car when it arrives.” Ahreum’s ready agreement shocked Minseok. So did the black Mercedes that picked them up in the underground parking structure, Ahreum waving goodbye as the car pulled out with the two young men in the backseat.
***
Minseok didn’t know what she was saying, he could only read her body language. She was stiff, formal, and unhappy. He wished he had picked up the Mandarin language the way Jongdae did so he would have an inkling about what was being discussed.
“Do you at least understand English?” She asked, raising an eyebrow in Minseok’s direction. Luhan’s Mother was dressed impeccably, her clothing clearly designer. Her makeup looked like it had been professionally done as did her hair. Large rings and a heavy jeweled necklace topped off her outfit.
Minseok was nervous meeting Luhan’s parents, even before he knew that at least one thing Luhan had told him way back when was true – that the Lu family was loaded. Once he realized that Luhan was part of a very, very well off family, Minseok’s anxiety had skyrocketed. He felt out of place, he felt lost – despite his strong emotions he still was very aware of the change that had come over Luhan when they had arrived at his parent’s house.
Luhan had held Minseok’s hand, guiding him into the house. Luhan’s palms were sweaty, when he greeted his Mother, his naturally upbeat expression turned sour. As the woman spoke his face turned red, his words became clipped and terse.
Now Minseok knew she was judging him. “No.” He answered on purpose. He understood more English than he did Mandarin but he wasn’t going to indulge the woman. Not when Luhan had his fists balled at his sides.
Luhan said something, quickly, his voice quivering as he made the statement. Minseok could pick up a few words - ài qíng, xìngfú – he recognized the words for love and happiness. What were they talking about?
Minseok fidgeted in his seat. The entire morning had been a blur. From a black Mercedes to an opulent residence in the most exclusive area of Beijing. Servants, a house full of expensive furniture and antiques, an angry woman that resembled Luhan. The tea they served was far too bitter for his liking.
A servant entered the room, speaking to Mrs. Lu in hushed tones.
“Minseok, my Father is home.” Luhan explained in Korean, “We should go greet him.”
Luhan’s Mother was quiet, suddenly accommodating as they walked towards the foyer of the large house. Minseok had forgotten how to even reach the main entryway, the number of hallways in the house dizzying and discombobulating.
A man was standing in the foyer, a servant helping him with his coat. Minseok looked at the man wondering how much Luhan took after him. It was clear that Luhan inherited his kind eyes and his small mouth. Luhan’s Father was taller than him, broader of shoulders. Luhan had gained his mother’s delicate frame.
The man looked Minseok up and down, gave a passing glance to Luhan, and then walked on without saying a word.
“Time to go.” Luhan grabbed Minseok’s hand, not looking back. They took a cab back to the dorms, earning a scolding from Ahreum.
“Are you okay?” Minseok had asked after they had returned home.
“Yeah. Just don’t ask me about it please.” Luhan answered, never giving any indication why he thought the visit was a good idea in the first place.
Minseok had a hard time sleeping that night, the scene of Luhan’s father replaying in his mind over and over again. The cold, steely glance he had directed at his own son, the lack of acknowledgement. Somehow, someway, Minseok knew that Luhan’s lies had a lot to do with that cold and ugly stare.
***
The day had been exhausting. Or had it been two days. Maybe three. Minseok wasn’t sure. It was a flurry of schedules, hair, makeup, schedules. He had slept in the car, a bit when he was having his makeup done. But that was how long ago…ten hours…five hours? He wasn’t sure at this point.
The six of them were at the SM building in Beijing, a much smaller operation than anything in Korea. The company had rented a small office building and converted several suites into practice rooms, the rest of the rooms reserved as offices for the management and other administrative employees present in the Chinese office.
Ahreum was sitting in the practice room, knitting in a corner as the boys practiced the choreography for Mama yet again. If they weren’t at a schedule they were practicing.
There was a knock on the practice room door, Ahreum putting down the fire engine red scarf she was half done with. She opened the door, speaking quietly. The boys barely paid attention, too busy fighting off exhaustion by continuing their practice. Minseok had recognized long ago that as long as he kept moving he could stay awake.
“Luhan.” Ahreum called quietly, effectively ending their practice. Minseok watched as Luhan walked to the door.
“Keep practicing.” Ahreum instructed the other five boys. Minseok went back to dancing but kept an eye on the door that Luhan had walked out of. He was curious why Luhan had bene called out. When he didn’t return in twenty minutes Minseok began to worry. Finally a break was called in the practice.
“Where did Luhan go?” Minseok asked Ahreum, knowing she would tell him if she could.
“His Father is here.” She answered quietly, still knitting, not bothering to look up.
***
Luhan didn’t return to the practice room. It was nearing dawn when Minseok heard the dorm door click open. He hadn’t been able to sleep, despite his extreme fatigue. He stared at the ceiling as Tao slumbered in the bed across the room, his mind full of worry over what the cold and distant man that he had met back in Luhan’s parent’s house could possibly want with his son.
Creeping out of bed at the noise of the front door opening, Minseok found Luhan in the kitchen, his back turned towards the entryway as he messed around with the coffee pot.
“Hey.” Minseok wasn’t sure what to say, what to ask, so he kept it simple. Luhan turned around, his face pale. His eyes were puffy, he had been crying, that much was obvious.
“Baozi.” Luhan tried to smile, tried to look like everything was okay but Minseok wasn’t buying it.
“What happened?”
“What do you mean?” Luhan went back to fidgeting with the coffee maker, throwing out the old grounds and refilling the basket with a few scoops of Columbian blend.
“Don’t pretend nothing happened.” Minseok walked over to Luhan, not wanting to pry but not wanting to discount his distress at the same time “You have been crying.”
“Crying? Ha.” Luhan tried to brush it off “Like I could cry.”
“What did your Dad say?” Minseok crossed his arms.
“That I should quit. That I should join the family business. That I am stupid. That I am good for nothing. The usual.”
“He is wrong.” Minseok said firmly. Luhan had stopped messing with the coffee maker, leaning over the counter with his back to Minseok he looked defeated, his posture relaxed as if he had half collapsed from the exhaustion of it all.
“Is he wrong?” Luhan asked softly.
“I think so. You are better than that. Than them. Don’t listen to him.”
“What if….you know…” Luhan turned around, leaning his back on the counter as he stared at the ceiling “What if…”
“You should have more confidence.”
“I should have more confidence?” His laugh was mocking, “Why do you put up with me?”
Minseok swallowed, narrowing his eyes “What do you mean?”
“I lie to you all the time. Why don’t you care?” His voice was raw, honest.
Minseok considered Luhan’s words. Wasn’t he obsessed with the reason behind Luhan’s lies? Wasn’t that the driving force, he had told himself, to get to know Luhan better? Why did none of it matter anymore? Why did Luhan lying seem so inconsequential when it was compared to their entire relationship-“Because I know you are a good person and you have your reasons?”
“Do I?” Luhan laughed, but it was sad.
“Yeah. Why do you put up with me?” Minseok hadn’t ever said it aloud, pinpointed it himself as a flaw “When I tear everything apart as soon as I am upset?”
His words seemed to break through the sarcastic front Luhan had put up around him. He looked serious, hurt even “Because you are you.”
“Then we feel the same.” Minseok smiled weakly.
“Funny that we found each other then. Two crazy people.”
“Yeah, I guess. Hey, let’s get some sleep.” He reached forward, grabbing Luhan’s arm gently, urging him to follow “My bed or yours?”
“Baozi…”Luhan stayed put, staring at his friend.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you.”
Minseok didn’t miss the few stray tears that fell as they walked to Minseok’s room, laid on Minseok’s bed, side by side. He noticed the tears but didn’t say anything – call them out, ask what was wrong. Suddenly it didn’t matter why Luhan lied. What mattered was that Luhan was next to him, was okay, was as much his as he probably ever would be. Suddenly Minseok wasn’t chasing a mystery, he was settling for a mutual understanding that would likely lead to heartbreak.
NEXT CHAPTER >>>>